Is That Nightly Glass of Wine Really Helping You Relax? What Moms Need to Know

The backpacks are packed, alarms are set, and back-to-school is fully underway. If your evenings already feel like a marathon of homework, dinner, and bedtime battles—you’re not alone. Many moms find that once the kids are finally asleep, there’s a craving for that nightly glass of wine. It feels like the signal that the day is done and you can finally exhale.

Ever feel like evenings are the only time you can finally exhale?

But here’s the question: is that glass of wine really helping you relax—or is it quietly adding to your stress?

My Story: When Wine Became My “Reward”

For years, wine was my reward after a long day of checklists and to-dos. At first, my ritual was to open a bottle the second I got home, as if I was telling my body: “It’s okay, you’re safe now, you can leave all the other stuff behind.”

But the truth? I wasn’t leaving anything behind. I was venting about my day, replaying frustrations, and then diving straight into the demands of home life—dinner, dishes, bedtime.

Later, as I tried to “get control” of my drinking, I pushed my first glass back until after my littlest one went to bed. But I noticed something painful: I was rushing through our bedtime routine, skipping over little moments of connection, just so I could finally pour a drink. I missed out on prime bonding time after we’d been apart all day. And it wore heavily on me—reinforcing the fear that I wasn’t a “good enough” mom.

And after talking with so many other moms, I know I’m not alone in this.

The Science: Why That First Sip Feels Like Relief

When we take that first sip of wine (or, in my case, combining it with that first drag of a cigarette), it feels like our body is finally letting out a long exhale. And honestly? That’s what we were craving all along—relief.

Here’s why: alcohol gives your brain a quick dopamine spike (that “ahhh” moment). But almost immediately, your body tries to balance things out by releasing cortisol—the stress hormone. Instead of true relaxation, you end up with more stress simmering under the surface, which is why cravings circle back and why mornings often feel harder, not easier.

Our brains crave quick rewards, but they often come with hidden costs.

The confusing part? Your body already has a built-in way to create that same “ahhh” sensation—without alcohol. A long exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your body that says: “You’re safe. You can rest now.”

That’s why something as simple as one slow, intentional breath can give you the release you thought was hiding in a glass of wine.

A Mom-Relatable Metaphor

Think of it like cranking the A/C in a hot parked car while your kids are rolling the windows down at the same time. For a few minutes, it feels cooler—but the relief doesn’t last, and the system is working twice as hard.

Like running the AC with the windows open—short-term relief, long-term drain.

That nightly wine might feel like it’s taking the edge off, but it’s also rolling the windows down on your rest—letting stress back in, and leaving you foggier in the morning.

Relatable Micro-Wins: Real Relief Without the nightly glass of Wine

The good news is, your body doesn’t need alcohol to relax—it just needs simple, repeatable cues of safety and care. Here are a few gentle swaps to try this week:

• 🚶 Take a 5-minute walk after dinner to reset your body and brain.

• 🎨 Color, doodle, or build Legos with your kids—a double win of connection + calm.

• 🧘 Try a bedtime stretch or mini yoga flow (even 3 minutes counts).

• 🛁 Sink into a warm bath with a journal—one prompt I love is: “What’s one thing I’m proud of today?”

• 🌬️ Pause for one slow exhale before you reach for your phone or the fridge.

Each of these micro-wins signals to your nervous system: “You’re safe. You can rest now.”

A Gentle Note of Hope

Here’s the truth: your desire to exhale at the end of the day isn’t wrong. It’s wisdom. Your body knows you need relief. It’s just that wine tricks you into thinking it’s the only way.

What if relaxation didn’t come from pouring something in a glass—but from giving yourself moments of real care?

✨ If you’re curious what’s really fueling your relationship with wine, I created a free quiz to help you see your patterns more clearly:👉 Take the quiz: What’s Really Driving Your Drinking?

Because you deserve real rest—not more stress. 🌱

Every small choice plants a seed for calm, clarity, and brighter mornings.