Your Life is Waiting For You
REDEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ALCOHOL
My own path of discovery has led me here; that my experience may inspire as a service to others to find their freedom. To quote Gandhi, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in others.”
At the Kahului Airport in Maui, I was feverishly digging through luggage that had been haphazardly strewn together in some sort of emergency fashion. I couldn’t find the decongestant to help ease my step-daughter’s sensitivity to the pressure change on the airplane. I was shaking from the anxiety pulsing through my body. I needed to find this medicine; as flashbacks from the last time we flew, how she cried and screamed from the pain flooded my brain, while other travelers were whizzing by me, trying to keep tabs on the three kids and figuring out how I was going to maneuver my husband in a rental wheelchair through the airport. And, if I am being honest, part of the shaking was due to experiencing withdrawals from alcohol....
I believe that anxiety and depression are too commonplace in our society. Furthermore, the substances that we are using to curb anxiety and depression are only causing more suffering. What people need are tools to help get to the root causes of those tough emotions. A popular Buddhist saying reminds us that, “Pain and loss are inevitable, but suffering is an option.”
Yet our society is suffering at large because as it is said “Hurt people, hurt people.” Oftentimes, when we are stuck with our deep hurts, we find ourselves using substances as a means to self-manage. Sure, the substance numbs the pain temporarily, but it also begins to numb everything else, including the beauty in life. As Glennon Doyle expressed, “Numbing keeps us from becoming.”
Numbing does not allow us to be our truest selves. When we are numbing, we aren’t showing up for the people that need us most; our kids. Our kids deserve caregivers who are engaged, present, loving, and patient. Alcohol by nature does not allow for these qualities to be.
Our willingness to be vulnerable with each other will help set each other free from suffering. By asking to share and listening to the stories we each hide inside, we will be given the wings we need to be set free.
As Tara Brach teaches, “Not survival of the fittest; survival of the nurtured.” If we want our kids to truly feel loved and valued, to break the cycle of societal hurt, we have to start by loving ourselves. Relearning to love ourselves sets us on a path of self-discovery.
Authentic, strong, generous, kind, mindful, funny, awake, creative, confident,
Pretentious, fake, misleading, validation or approval seeking, people pleasing.